there was a time, not too long ago, when i was saving the most outrageous and colorful of these missives as fodder for some sort of sly multimedia art project, addressing such hot topics as the commodification of self, popular representations of modern sexuality, or advanced technology and access to the "taboo". but then my paranoia set in. paranoia fed by a related strain of viral email marketing: the "if you think you erased all that smut off your computer, you're sadly mistaken and someone, maybe even someone close to you, knows all about it, you sick twisted pervert" ploy. could it be that some stealthy software on my computer at work is reading all my private emails? suddenly, i envisioned these quaint subject lines popping up on some central database, flashing insistently in red block capitals at some IT flunkie lacking the context of my artistic motivations. flash forward an unsuspecting me being politely escorted from the building for unspecified violations of corporate policy.

i realize that i'm not doing myself any google-search-related favors by discussing this topic. in fact, the title alone invites disaster. but in the last several days, i've come up numerous times through search engines. i find this strangely intriguing. search terms include:

california in my mind (pole position on a german google query; yay me!)

striped wristbands

sock puppet showgirls chicago

sock puppet SEX

breaster of women

what the hell is a breaster of woman? this even perplexed the google folks, prompting them to suggest "breast of woman" as an alternative. i was intrigued how this hit was generated. it was those damn britney spears anagrams. it is ALWAYS about brit, isn't it? god, she can be such a publicity hog. but, back to my original question. what the hell is a breaster of woman? somebody, ANYBODY, help me out with this one. for once, i'm at a loss.