is moby's new video, a collection of has-beens, media whores and one-hit wonders, meant to be a huge ironic joke? angelyne? ron jeremy? kato kaelin? todd bridges? ha ha. maybe it's meant to be some wry social commentary, an update on andy's 15 minutes. did i just put moby and andy in the same sentence?

i read recently that e! fashion emergency's 2001 male fashion breakthrough has gotten used to celebrity, against his better judgement. keep releasing crap like this and soon enough, it will be hard to tell just who the joke in "we are all made of stars" is on.

2. christina ricci joins the cast of ally mcbeal.

oh christina, why have you forsaken us? that's some illustrious company you're keeping. chaplin, celestia, JON BON JOVI. now, YOU'RE wanted, dead or alive. well, if she lost all that weight margaret cho style, then i relish the possibility of the rowdy one-woman show that might engender.

3. upn cans roswell.

thank god. i mean, i love those teen aliens with all their brooding and angst and glamorous hairstyles, but this season has been as exciting as watching paint dry.

4. fertility - countdown to goodbye.

ditto. as least they brought back madonna's power of goodbye from the original promos (yes, i remember and yes, it's wrong). besides, we need j.j. focused on sydney and co. over at abc's ALIAS.

5. abc "benches" the court

puns! ugh! just as well, though. i've been watching far too much television as it is. in fact, if my life were a tv series, it would most definitely be a mid-season replacement. all this upheaval and change during march and april, when everybody else is in reruns. if i were a regularly scheduled program, these goodies would be happening during sweeps, but november and february were exceptionally quiet. and MAY? well, cross your fingers for me.

6. Britney Spears Anagrams

Presbyterian. Binary Presets. Arrest By Penis. Spiny Breaster. Tiny PR AssBeer. just food (and drink) for thought.

7. hatchbacks

do any auto manufacturers make hatchbacks anymore? where did these cars come from in the first place? why did they go away? did they morph into minivans and then SUV's? is this what happened? my uncle's second wife had a gremlin. my parents owned a pinto. did all those cars have a hump in between the two back seats? what was wrong with bench seats? why buckets? why the hump?

8. grammar challenge of the day

make a noun a verb (e.g. weekending).