today, i called my regular 3 hour a day gig and feigned emergency. well, it's not really feigning. an all day opportunity to make cash outranks less than half a day.

today, i am a receptionist at a large media conglomerate.

today, i am watching a production of said media conglomerate over and over and over on a giant flat screen television in the lobby. it involves dinosaurs.

today, i spent my lunch hour wandering around the concourse at rockefeller center looking for chapstick. don't worry, i found it.

today, i called my mother from 50th and Rockefeller Plaza just to say hi and oh yeah, i'm at rockefeller center. you know, with the ice skating and the christmas tree, which my mom informs me will be lit all up tonight, yo.

today, i learned that steve jobs didn't lure himself away from pepsi all those years ago. it was john sculley who was lured.

today, i had two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on white bread.

today, i wrapped my cocoa-colored burberry coat around me like a blanket. it's missing a button.

today, i decided that, whatever you might say about his public persona and private life, eminem's music is realized.

today, i thought fondly about the pasta bake my roommate made last night that i'll be having leftovers from tonight.

today, i fought my impulse to learn as much about the whitney houston interview as possible before plopping my ass in front of it tonight. by the way, this is abc's whitney tells all wednesday. you know, like the hurricane in miami that ripped through nurses, golden girls and empty nest (i'm sure there was one other saturday night nbc comedy back then, but i can't remember it for the life of me. can you? i wonder how she'll turn up on my wife and kids? damon's cracked-out sister a la six feet under? then on george lopez as the abused ex-celebrity who moves in next door after rehab in the southwest somewhere? hey, it could happen.

today, i considered why it was that my scarf was in my bag and not around my neck. possibly due to disorientation of waking up and heading out the door before noon.

today, i'm wearing my mary tyler moore sweater. you know the one i'm talking about.

today, i went back to finishing mr. easton ellis' glamorama. this one takes a nasty turn about two-thirds of the way in. fortunately, i had the second harry potter book on hand to take the edge off, just like a klonopin. or was it a xanax?

today, i enjoyed the word "contraindications".

today, i realized that my ownership of the entire collected works of ms. kylie minogue made me, all other evidence to the contrary, quite gay.