Puff the Magic Tax Man
2002-08-28

one night, not too long after my arrival in new york, the household convened a pow-wow regarding the recent cigarette tax increases. whatever were we to do now that smokes were at least $7 a pack? like any red-blooded american faced with domestic price shocks, we decided to import our tobacco from abroad. it appears that a number of online smoke shops have proliferated in recent times, catering to those of us who shudder at shelling out almost a tenner a pop at the corner deli. each of us ordered a carton and hoped for the best. days passed, then weeks without our foreign contraband. we had all but given up hope on our shady online purchase.

this afternoon brought a small package from abroad, a package of interderminate origin. switzerland, monaco, italy, france. who knows? not large enough to contain four cartons of cigarettes, i seriously doubted that these were our much-anticipated cancer sticks. well, i was wrong...and right. you see, inside there were ten individual packs of cigarettes, my brand as a matter of fact. only my cigarettes had arrived. each pack encircled by a strip intoning "u.s. tax exempt for use outside the u.s." ok, where did these cigarettes come from? no e.u. markings though clearly sent from somewhere inside. the only thing i can think of is that these are specially packaged for sale on u.s. military installations abroad. who knew that buying smokes online would contribute to the long-term health and well-being of our fighting men and women overseas? i'm doing my part. how about you?

-finn

Previously:
Shiny Happy Person (or Something Like That) - 2005-08-19
Having Trouble Saying What I Mean With Dead Poets and a Drum Machine - 2005-08-14
Let's Rock! - 2005-07-27
Knock Me Right Off My Feet - 2005-07-22
Play or You'll Never Know - 2005-07-14