Not Quite A Bang, Not Quite A Whimper
2003-05-30
as you may have noticed, i've been less than prolific hereabouts in recent times. this relative silence has had numerous roots. some external, others internal. some physical, others psychic. mostly, i've come to the conclusion that i no longer feel free to express myself in this forum, in this guise. for quite some time, i've been struggling to convince myself that it doesn't matter who might be out there, reading in silence, about me and my travails. these concerns are less about offending, upsetting, or further cementing others perceptions of me and more about a sense of ownership regarding my SELF.
i've used this diary for a whole cornucopia of delights over the last year and a half, from raving about television to ranting about current events. from the surface of my emotional life to its deepest, darkest recesses. unfortunately, it is the deepest and darkest that is troubling me the most. and for this diary to continue to make sense to me, i gotta be able to run the gamut. i'm not comfortable with the amount of access to my internal life it has continued to allow to those who have made a conscious choice to no longer be a part of my external life. that's the crux of it. and so the time has come for hucksterfinn to call it quits.
i wish that i could provide a more satisfying finale to what has arguably been the most tumultous 23 months of my young life. in the end, this is all i have to offer. even though my story ends here, my life has only just begun.
fade to black.
-finn
Previously:
Shiny Happy Person (or Something Like That) - 2005-08-19
Having Trouble Saying What I Mean With Dead Poets and a Drum Machine - 2005-08-14
Let's Rock! - 2005-07-27
Knock Me Right Off My Feet - 2005-07-22
Play or You'll Never Know - 2005-07-14
