i think that my most humbling moment (one of the those insipid, ostensibly insightful questions asked by the nerve folks) is now trying to make myself sound interesting through answers to "provocative" questions such as favorite on-screen sex scene. either that or the realization that the best pictures of me often feature not a smile but some exaggerated expression that communicates the elasticity of my moods but surely can't be considered the most flattering.

right this second, i am giving the latest disc from the mars volta another spin. i bought this album quite some time ago and discarded it rather perfunctorily due to its reincarnation of rush vibe. this seemed like a bad thing at the time, but after hearing drunkship of lanterns over the weekend pulsing from the speakers at the urbanest of outfitters (of course, it was), i've reconsidered my original position.

sunday morning, i managed a transition from in bed to at grand central in under an hour. i know, impressive. upon my arrival in connecticut, i found myself all revved up and running hot. strangely enough, saturday day, i had felt calm and relaxed and even. in fact, my mood and demeanor was exactly the same. the world had just slowed down around me. and i realized that even my resting state these days is pitched up a notch from most people's existence elsewhere. and the absolute, utter silence in one of the yale libraries was supremely satisfying. i had to whisper. no one whispers in new york city. ever.

being amidst all that academe fueled a resurgence of my graduate school desires. of course, everything today is dependent upon a cash infusion that seems to move further and further out of reach, the closer it gets. after talks with the executor, i have a better understanding of why everything is taking so long, but am no closer to a resolution. i am desperate to move forward, but am hamstrung by this financial limbo. not that i am complaining about my good fortune. i just expected to be enjoying it by now. in that vein, i've gone back to the well about programs, considering advice from a number of unexpected sources. a number of universities here in the northeast that i had originally decided against are back in play. who knew?

spent most of today curled up with the newest harry potter. seems like a legitimate distraction for the next few days. also, planning to give other albums that only received a cursory glance the first time around another go. believe me, there are quite a few. i seem to have burned through quite a bit of music in the last month or so. mostly excited about the electric six/junior senior show on november one. destined to spend several days afterwards in quite a funk, as the show will either disappoint spectacularly or will be so eye-popping, ear-spltting, ass-shaking, mind-melding awesome that i will need a support group just to come to terms with the fact that it is over.

-finn