now, as i have made some fairly significant decisions about the future direction of my young life, i have been feeling rather contemplative. back home in san francisco, whenever i felt this way, i would stroll down to the embarcadero, plant myself by the water and ruminate. the lake seems to beckon to me with the same sort of invitation. in fact, the water is even in the right place (to the east), but there is no bridge and you can't see oakland. you can't really see anything but you do know somewhere inside that michigan is there just beyond the horizon. i've always been drawn to the water to think. while in college, i spent many hours on the cliffs above black's beach (yes, the nudie one). all this water-speak reminds me of that one episode of buffy where the swim team turns into sea monsters and the one guy hits on ms. sommers with some cheese-ass claptrap about the beauty of the sea and such. probably cause it was on fx last night. oh well.

it was rather windy out (surprise, surprise) and some group of young kids in matching orange shirts were frolicking in the spray of the fountain. day camp, possibly? if it had been any warmer, i just might have joined them. crossing lake shore drive to get to the waterfront in a tricky business. i mean, there is a stoplight and the walk sign is on a timer (25 seconds count down for you), but when the clock winds down, it returns to eight lanes of screaming traffic, hurtling by at highway speeds. grant park IS undeniably beautiful, but not particularly pedestrian friendly, what with its bisection, trisection, quadrisection, by several of these multi-lane byways. let's just say one shouldn't expect a haven from modern contraption in the manner of central park or golden gate park.

loyal readers will note that i have aired plenty of beef about this city, but today i felt a twinge of...respect?...pride?...love? the lakefront can be truly breathtaking. and going away reminds one of those things about here that do resonate. probably just because the weather was so good. it always makes me misty and forgiving. chicago is clean and pleasant and friendly; new york is filthy, hostile and dismissive. chicago will take you home to meet his parents; new york will leave no doubt that your shoes are by the door. wasn't it the boy next door that i was looking for or do i really crave the bad boy?