timothy found two new victims; eric, this poor unassuming straight guy, who kept asking me why i was leaving and to whom i didn't have the heart to explain; and jamie, who i never actually had the misfortune of meeting, but i hear she's very pretty and personable and placcid. until she starts in on the booze. and the coke. seems our girl jamie is a stripper (in a swiss peep show, oh, i couldn't resist, i loves me that miss kittin) and is determined to live the lifestyle, you know, to the max. this is not to claim that all strippers are whacked-out booze hounds, hell-bent on destruction. in fact, i know several who are lovely ladies hell-bent on paying the bills. one such gal stripped her way through law school. nuff said.

not too long after lovely j took up residence, she and timothy and some other folks from the building went out for some drinks (surprise, surprise). seems they ran into an ex-girlfriend of jamie's. they began a heated argument, which quickly proceeded to blows, with jamie wailing away on her ex. timothy broke it up, explaining that this behavior was unacceptable, and led her out of the bar. once outside, she eluded his grasp, slipped back inside, made a bee-line for the girlfriend and started pounding on her again. classy, huh?

from what i've heard, those fights started coming home to roost, not only with the ex, but with her current girlfriend, both verbal and physical, at all hours. seems jamie would come home from a hard night of stripping, all coked up at 4 am and throw down the tunes, in that way that one throws down the tunes all coked up at 4 am. you know, THAT way.

soon, she began to complain about the air conditioning vents which are located directly over your bed, no matter where you put it and blows hard right onto you. believe me, i had more than one summer cold from this circumstance. so timothy gets some vent guards and goes into her room to install them. when jamie realizes that he has been in her room, she flips out, immediately calls a locksmith and has a lock put on her door that only she has a key to.

now, i must admit that i thought about doing the same thing when things started to get really sketch, especially after the Hot Christmas episode, but timothy isn't malicious or dangerous, just misguided. again with the charity. well, since she won't cough up a key, this violates their pre-lease agreement (yes, he actually had them sign a house rules contract before moving in; if he had presented me with something like that, i would have laughed, turned on my heel and never looked back; maybe i wish he would have), timothy began pursuing, with an ATTORNEY, having her evicted.

flash forward to last weekend when timothy was awakened by a frantic knock at the door at 4 am. it was jamie's girlfriend who was in hysterics, babbling about helping jamie. you see, jamie was in the front hall on the floor in convulsions. seems she'd had a bit too much toot for one night. ambulances are called, etc. you know the drill. standard o.d. procedure. the girlfriend comes back later to gather some things for the hospital and locks up behind her.

sometime between the o.d. incident and jamie's return, she believes that some money had gone missing. all signs point to the girlfriend but she accused timothy and CALLS THE COPS. no word on what the fuzz had to say about the whole thing, but the boys had the wherewithal to kick her ass to the curb. of course, her response was fuck you, I'M outta here, as if she had been wronged and it was her choice to leave. come to find out that this is the third place lady j has been forced to leave in the last year. yum. what a charmer.

the moral of this story? no matter how bad things are, it could always be worse. just saying.