smart enough not to follow in the footsteps of such legends as shelley long and david caruso, i pitched another series. california boy relocates to midwest mid-life to start anew; the adventures of me, the gay male lorelai gilmore (yeah, that's right, i'm the girl most likely to gilmore). a light-hearted comedy called "My Life Is...And You Know That". though the pilot tested well, the central character needed a partner in crime, another fish out of water, who could relate to his trials and tribulations. enter the boyfriend, a fellow emigre from the bigger city, new york city, that is; the yin to my yang. everything was a go for a summer season premiere.

what was intended as a culture-clash comedy turned quickly into a serial melodrama, a season punctuated with calamity and disarray. our heroes were faced with a suicide attempt by a close friend and an entirely unexpected loss of employment, all within the first few episodes. and the summer's cliffhanger finale? September 11.

when we returned in the fall for our first full season, the focus had shifted to two desperate and confused souls, trying to make sense of this new world order, while enduring psycho-roommates and on-going un-/under-employment. stand-out vignettes included Hot Christmas (where my roommate stole a christmas tree and accoutrements in order to have the traditional christmas he couldn't afford on his retail queen salary), Grimace in the House (where the boyfriend worked late nights with the women that keep those puffy paint folks in business), The Luby Chronicles (where i temped at a bowling/billiards magazine publisher as a receptionist/mail room clerk), The Labor Camp (where the boyfriend, after months of late nights, gleefully switched to days, only to be confronted by a "family is important, but you need to put your job first" toxic mentality) and of course, Timothy, Interrupted (where aforementioned psycho checked himself into the hospital for "emotional problems", not to actually get the help he truly needs, but to avoid responsiblity for his actions). as the season began to draw to a close, a new house and a new job for the central character required a retooling. you may have noticed the transition to "Upon Midwestern Shores"; a new look, a new name. did i mention i really like blue?

which brings us to last night's shocking season finale where the main man and his main squeeze called it quits. well, not SO shocking as there had been some pretty heated scenes in the "Previously On" recap. In drama, like life, sometimes you have to split up the central couple for the characters to reach their full potential; to find themselves; to find their way back to each other. i have no idea what's next. they won't show me the scripts (i'm infamous for leaking spoilers to the press). but, take heart, gentle readers. maybe the boyfriend is just negotiating for a bigger salary. after what he's been through this season, who could blame him?

and me? well, following a brief hiatus, i'll be back with all-new episodes for the summer (like nine oh two one oh). one confirmed addition to the cast is a tough-as-nails counselor/therapist broad, someone to help the main character get through, over and past the pain and disappointment of the last year. can you believe he's finally asking for help? no word on casting yet. does anyone have Dr. Toni Pavone's number?