While delivering the mail, which is the most intellectually stimulating task i perform here at the Daily Grind, i overheard a snippet of conversation between the editor and international editor of the bowling magazine about the stepchild of grammar, the adverb.

Now I know you know where to get them and how to go about it (quickly, quickly, quickly), much like you know that verb is what's happening; that a noun is a person, place or thing; that three is the magic number; about unpacking your adjectives (he was a hairy bear, he was a scary bear...were they out at the bar with me?); what the function of conjuntion junction is; and that Interplanet Janet IS a galaxy girl. How else is it that our generation knows the preamble to the constitution? if a single one of you claims to be able to recite this WITHOUT singing (and that means in your head, too), you my friend are a liar.

This is what is stuck in my head. Now it is stuck in yours. Let's just pretend that Moby, Blind Melon and Biz Markie had nothing to do with it.

Additionally, on my rounds, i ventured into the deepest recesses of our office, the back rooms leased out to a group of Certified Public Accountants. What i found was one of them, sitting in the dark, amid piles of garbage and stacks of books strewn across the desk, talking on the phone. empirical proof that we are NOT ready for videophones. maybe they meant Certifiable.