one of the few bright spots in my winter wonderland is above average temperatures and little discernable snowfall. every day with temperatures NOT in the teens or below is a cause for celebration. of course, being from California, weather is not something i have alot of experience with. rain, yes. dry, hot summers, yes. but neither require any consultation of the wind chill or heat indices (i'm sure to go off on the latter at some time, but right now it is the least of my worries)

so, as the temperatures begin to creep back down toward normal and below, and as flurries dance in the skies outside my window (pretty, pretty), the weather begins to prey on my mind.

last august, a NEW wind chill index was introduced by the National Weather Service and the Meteorological Society of Canada to replace the existing 1945 Siple and Passel Index. this new formula takes into consideration new information about heat transfer, calm wind thresholds, skin tissue resistance, human face models and solar radiation. the upshot is that for each combination of air temperature and wind speed, now it FEELS warmer than it used to. what the hell is this? some sort of conspiracy to mask the effects of global warming? quite possible. in fact, it's all very scientific. check out the formula:

Wind Chill (�F) = 35.74 + 0.6215T - 35.75(V^0.16)+ 0.4275T(V^0.16)

Where V = the wind speed value in mph and T = the temperature in �F

VERY scientific. who could argue with temperature coefficients so specific as to be shown to four decimal places and velocities raised to the .16 power? i must say i'd love to see the grant proposal on this one. what a waste. no tax dollars for health insurance, education, job training, social justice, but plenty to convince us that it's warmer outside than it ever has been before. i feel toasty just thinking about it.

and what about this Feels Like? now, if this were useful info, i wouldn't be so bothered by the obvious extravagance of this new index. in fact, i would embrace it. how about 10 degrees Fahrenheit and 15 mile an hour winds FEELS LIKE battery acid being poured into a open wound? or 5 degrees Fahrenheit and 25 mile an hour winds FEELS LIKE an adult circumcision (male or female) without anesthesia performed with a rusty vegetable peeler? catch my drift here? what i wouldn't do to hear Heather Tesch utter that last phrase just once at "9 o'clock in Washington, 8 in the Windy City and 6 for you folks out in San Diego."

well, i can dream.

i DID learn one piece of important information: -18 degrees Fahrenheit is the wind chill value at which frostbite occurs in 15 minutes or less. at what temperature does Fame occur, I wonder?

well, enough blather for now.